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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25216714">the obligatory subtext of being bisexual</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingpen808/pseuds/dancingpen808'>dancingpen808</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Check Please! (Webcomic)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual!Holster, Dex is a party mom, First Kiss, Getting Together, Hook-Up, M/M, Pan!Nursey, canon but like more</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:00:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,209</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25216714</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingpen808/pseuds/dancingpen808</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s flirting, he knows it, and he thinks Dex knows it too. Nursey’s never quite sure what Dex makes of him- does he know Nursey’s being serious? Does he know that Dex is on his “I’m down if you are” list? Does he know that maybe Nursey wants more than just sex, that sometimes he thinks about what it could be like to just hold each other?</p><p> </p><p>In which Holster's out, and so is Nursey, and watching them get handsy at a kegster definitely Does Not make Dex jealous.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adam "Holster" Birkholtz/Derek "Nursey" Nurse, Derek "Nursey" Nurse &amp; William "Dex" Poindexter, Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>117</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. word on the street</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This work was inspired by "must be a d-men thing" by jennycaakes! please go read it it's very good!</p><p>There will be more chapters to this!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was Saturday night and the floorboards of the Haus were shaking in time with the hips of the crowd. At least, it seemed like it to Nursey- but maybe that had more to do with the fourth (fifth?) cup of tub juice he clutched. It was definitely going to be a good kegster, too. SMH had won the game against Yale the night prior, midterms had finished a few days ago, and everyone on campus was looking to cut loose.</p><p>	Dex appeared at Nursey’s side with trademark disapproval on his face. “Nurse, that’s your fifth, you’re getting cut off.” In response, Nursey slung his arm around Dex’s neck and pulled him in close, so he could faux-whisper above the music. </p><p>	“And how, exactly, are you going to enforce that?” He’s flirting, he knows it, and he thinks Dex knows it too. Nursey’s never quite sure what Dex makes of him- does he know Nursey’s being serious? Does he know Dex is on his “I’m down if you are” list? Does he know that maybe Nursey wants more than just sex, that sometimes he thinks about what it could be like to just hold each other? </p><p>	Dex shrugged him off, and took the cup out of Nursey’s hand with an irritated cast over his face. </p><p>	“We both know even when you’re sober you’d trip over your own feet trying to fight me.” There’s a little bit of a smirk to his comment, which is the hardest part about Dex. He’s actually really funny, not just mean, but his tone of delivery is so matter-of-fact that most people miss it. Nursey likes to think he’s not one of those people. </p><p>	Dex disappeared back into the crowd, and that stung, but Nursey is the king of compartmentalization and if Dex is never going to happen, then maybe he should try out someone who will. </p><p>	And there’s this thing with Holster that’s been going on, and it’s been fine, and not weird, but it could definitely go that direction. </p><p>	It started when Ransom and Holster had been talking about guys to set Bitty up with for this year’s Winter Screw. </p><p>	“How about- who’s the swim team captain? Everett?” Ransom showed Holster a picture on his phone, which Holster scrunched his nose up at. </p><p>	“Nah. Not good enough. Besides, he has a boyfriend now I think.” Holster responded. </p><p>	“Oh wait!” Ransom looked up excitedly. “Justin!” He exclaimed, like it had been so obvious.</p><p>	“You can’t go with Bitty, you’re going with March,” Holster explained in a patronizing tone. </p><p>	“Not me Justin, the Justin you went to Screw with in Freshman year! Justin Vega or something!” </p><p>	Nursey looked up. Bitty looked up. Pretty much everyone aside from Ransom, Holster, and Lardo looked up. Holster seemed nonplussed. </p><p>	“Ohh him. Yeah I could text him, see if he’s up for it.” He pulled out his phone. “Hey Bitty, what’d you think of this guy?” He said, shoving it in front of him.</p><p>	Bitty took it, and then declared “he’s cute!” In a surprised tone. </p><p>	Holster glanced around all the extra attention he was getting and asked, “what?” </p><p>	No one said anything for a second and then Bitty tactfully said </p><p>	“I don’t think any of us realized you’d be interested in someone like Justin.” Holster worked on that for a second. </p><p>	“Oh! You guys didn’t know I’m like hella bi?” He laughed a bit. </p><p>	“Fuck yeah, dude” Nursey said, extending him a fist bump. </p><p>	They had been closer then, more comfortable around each other. They had started flirting the way that jocks did, cat calling in the showers, singing cheesy karaoke duets together, over-exaggerating compliments when one came downstairs in a killer ‘fit. The thing is, all the teammates did this with each other. But when you were out as into men and on a team with other men, people tended to read things the wrong way, so it was fun to be able to say things like that to Holster and know he wouldn’t get freaked out or have a gay panic. </p><p>	And they had a lot in common. Similar music taste, similar meme taste, and as Ransom once delicately put it, they were both “extreme hoes.” Each had respectable wheels and pulled pretty frequently. Nursey felt like he could actually make an innuendo around Holster, while Bitty would just blush whenever he tried. </p><p>	So the past few weeks had been nice, getting closer. He didn’t know if Holster was interested, but he was available, so Nursey ducked through the crowd, plucked two Mike’s Hards from a cooler and handed one to Holster, who was chatting with a few kids Chowder had invited. </p><p>	“Nurse, my man, is that for me? You’re too good” He exclaimed, wrapping an arm around Nursey and accepting the drink. </p><p>	“Anything for you,” Nursey crooned in a sickly-sweet voice and Holster barked a laugh. </p><p>	“So. Return to karaoke. You and me? Some.. Destiny’s Child maybe?” He offered with a twist of his eyebrow. Nursey mocked being hurt.</p><p>	“I’m offended you even have to ask.” </p><p>	They end up actually performing No Scrubs, and Nursey dances up on Holster a bit, and Holster lets his hand linger on Nursey’s waist for a beat after they get off stage and it’s nice. </p><p>	It shouldn’t bother Dex as much as it does. Dex goes to the kegsters, but he always stays in the background. It’s near impossible to get him drunk on a few cups of tub juice like the rest of the team, so he’s almost always the person wiping up spills, watching out for creepy guys, and doing Nursey Patrol. Even when he’s not on Nursey Patrol, because the boy is honestly too much for one person to handle. </p><p>	That’s how he justifies it, the extra pair of eyes he always leaves on Nursey’s back. Even when he’s talking to someone else, the awareness of what Nursey’s doing, how he’s feeling, how much longer before he’s going to hit a wall and need to be carried into someone’s bedroom upstairs. Dex had already laid out an air mattress in Chowder’s in preparation. </p><p>	It’s been painful to watch Nursey tonight. All the last few weeks really, because ever since Holster came out, the two had been flirting. And sure, Nursey flirted with everyone, even Dex. But Holster had been flirting back, and there had been a new ease with the way that the two of them fit around each other these days that Dex couldn’t ignore.</p><p>	He watched their (admittedly good) performance of No Scrubs and tried to ignore the biting feeling in his stomach when Nursey grinded on Holster a bit. And then he tried not to wonder where Holster pulled him off to when they disappeared from the living room. </p><p>	The kitchen maybe? The backyard? He refused to consider the set of stairs and the room in the attic that he knew Ransom wasn’t in at the moment. </p><p>	Nursey found himself on the porch with Holster, sharing a joint. Massachusetts was having a late winter this year, so in his t-shirt he was mostly fine in the cold. There was something nice about the muffled thud of the music pounding in the Haus juxtaposed with the otherwise deserted street. </p><p>	“So,” Holster said, “I gotta hear the list.” </p><p>	“The list?” Nursey asked. “Awful vague, you’re gonna have to tell me which one.” </p><p>	“Your ‘Samwell Hockey members that I wouldn’t mind making out with’ list,” he grinned.   Nursey let out a chuckle. </p><p>	“Fuck. Okay. Let me think.” He said, taking a hit and then passing it back to Holster. </p><p>	“First of all you, obviously,” Nursey said with a grin, and Holster ducked his head in appreciation. </p><p>	“Uh. Lardo maybe. Whiskey, Ransom, but only if he didn’t have a test coming up,” he let Holster laugh for a second. “Dex,” he said softer. </p><p>	“I knew it!” Holster crowed. Nursey narrowed his eyes. </p><p>	“Knew what? It’s not like we don’t already know he’s hot,  and I’ve always wanted to kiss a ginger,” Nursey says in a weak attempt at a joke, but the flush starting at his cheeks had already given it away. </p><p>	“Uh huh,” Holster teased, unconvinced. When Nursey simply lifted a cool eyebrow at him, he switched topics. </p><p>	“So. Word on the street is you’ve been flirting with me, Nurse,” Holster mentions with a bit of a grin. </p><p>	“Word on the street would be right, <i>but </i>word on the street is neglecting to mention that you’ve been flirting back.” Nursey said with a wink. This kind of stuff- a few cheeky remarks to some hot, romantically meaningless person- never made him nervous. Talking about, or to, the Dex’s of the world- that was harder. </p><p>	Holster laughed at the comment. “Touché” he said with a smile, and they sat in silence for a few moments. Both of them mulled over the possibility. The attic was just a few flights of stairs away. It would be so easy for Nursey to take his hand, help him up, and ask “your room?” in a quiet voice. He’s 80% sure Holster would say yes. </p><p>	He still hadn’t decided what to do when the front door squeaked open, and, turning his head, he found Dex silhouetted in its frame. </p><p>	“Dexy!” Nursey exclaimed. “Come sit.” Dex obliged, wedging himself on the other side of Nursey.</p><p>	“Hey guys,” he said a little awkwardly.</p><p>	“Want a hit?” Holster asked, offering him the joint. Dex considered for a moment, then said “no thanks,” with a tilt of his head. </p><p>	“So why, oh why has the great William Pointdexter deigned to join us this evening?” Nursey asked, enjoying the drama of the question.</p><p>	“I didn’t see you for a bit there and came out to check if you’d fallen off the roof again,” Dex snarked but there’s a smile in his eyes and Nursey grinned back.</p><p>	“Awww see he does care about me!” He exclaimed and Holster laughed a bit, then moved to get up. “I’m gonna see how Rans is doing, maybe play wingman,” he explained, but shot a wink at Nursey when Dex turned to look at the street. </p><p>	“You should probably get to bed,” Dex offered into the silence and Nursey regarded him for a second. </p><p>	“Has anyone ever told you you’re wise?” He asked Dex, allowing himself to be helped up, and enjoying the feel of Dex’s shoulder supporting him as they started into the house.</p><p>	“Well <i>you’ve</i> called me a wise-ass, I don’t know if that counts,” Dex said and Nursey laughed. </p><p>	And as Dex is helping Nursey to bed, he gets brave. He and Nursey have sort of been friends for the last few months, and friends could ask about these things, so he plucks up the courage and says,</p><p>	“So what’s going on with you and Holster? Anything there?” Nursey’s tired, and drunk, and doesn’t seem surprised by the question. </p><p>	“Nah.” He says, almost automatically, and Dex’s heart soars, but then he goes,</p><p>“Well- I don’t know. I might suck his dick or something,” and Dex can’t get out of the room fast enough.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. you up?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <em>There’s hands on his chest. Warm, broad hands, a little calloused, pressing against his skin. A breath at his ear, soft lips whispering about something Dex can’t quite make out. He reaches forward, finds a face and pulls it in, those lips meet his in an agonizing blush of pleasure and the long eyelashes part to reveal deep, sea-green. </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">In his startled wake-up, Dex barely has time to feel guilty for the dream involving a certain teammate who is not-to-be-named before he registers the phone buzzing angrily beneath his cheek.<em> A Snapchat call? Who uses Snapchat’s calling feature? </em>Blearily he answered, Chowder’s morning hair filling the screen.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“Dex! Oh good, you’re up. I didn’t want to wake you!” His voice is too cheerful, especially for 10 am after a kegster. Dex glared back onto the screen.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“Listen, you should come over! Bitty’s making us all breakfast!” Chowder panned the camera around the table- Ransom, Lardo, Wicks, and Farmer popped onto screen, and then Nursey. Dex can’t tell if the <em>pang</em> in his heart is the result of Nursey’s unshaven scruff or residual guilt from his dream. Chowder flipped the camera back around to face him, a grin on his face that Dex is too fond of to not comply.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“I’ll be there in 20,” he says, trying to sound grumpy, which rolls right off of Chowder.</p><p class="p1">“S’wasome!” Chowder cheers, hanging up.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">Mornings after kegsters are usually not a fun time to be in the Haus. Most everyone’s hungover and there’s always clean-up duty that Bitty is far too effective at enforcing. But Bitty’s morning scramble is almost worth it, and as much as Dex likes to pretend he’s completely comfortable with being a little bit of a loner, he’s come to depend on his team like his own little family.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">7 people don’t fit around the kitchen table, so when Dex arrived, they’ve scattered into the living room, starting in on plates. He accepted a plate from Bitty with a smile and joined Chowder and Farmer on the couch, who were discussing highlights from the night before.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“I can’t believe Whiskey beat Lardo at beer pong!” Chowder recounted to Dex, who turned to look at Lardo with a raised eyebrow.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“Hey! Blame that on my weak-ass partner, Mr. Justin Oluransi,” Lardo says. Ransom let out a noise of protest at the slander, but let it go, engrossed in his breakfast. “And that LAX bro Whiskey was playing with was like unfairly good. I’m pretty sure he’s doping,” Lardo continued from her position curled up against one of the walls.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“A LAX bro?” Dex asked.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“Mm-hmm” Bitty says, with a meaningful look that Dex doesn’t quite know how to interpret. The room is quiet for a minute- Whiskey’s an amazing hockey player, but none of the team really know what to do with him.The peace is broken by a cacophony of thunderous footsteps down the stairs and Holster’s booming, hangover-headache-inducing voice.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“I smell breakfast!” He nearly shouts. Dex sees Nursey and Wicks wince at the volume.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“In the kitchen,” Bitty calls after him, and he reappears with a heaping plate.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“So. Rans. Deets. What’s going on with you and March?” Holster asked immediately.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“Other than the fact that we’ve been dating for like four months?” Ransom tried to deflect. Holster kept his gaze steady and Ransom flushed in response.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“She may have suggested… expanding the boundaries of our physical relationship,” Ransom delicately offered, attempting to sip at his coffee in a nonchalant manner. The team waited a moment.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“We had a threesome with April last night,” He says finally, and the room bursts into a disorienting blend of laughter and chirps.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“So, what about you, <em>Adam</em>?” Ransom pronounces Holster’s first name with a teasing smirk, and Holster answered with a raised eyebrow,</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“No deets from me.”</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. What happened? I was trying to set you up with that BU girl. And Nursey was all ready for you, don’t even pretend you weren’t-“ Ransom cut off with an accusatory finger jab at Nursey. Nursey grinned in response, a small shrug to his shoulders. Holster blushed a bit too, but shrugged, and stood, having finished his plate.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“I don’t know bro, guess the romantic in me struck.” He said flippantly, heading into the kitchen to return his plate. Nursey doesn’t seem embarrassed at all by this interaction, still quietly sipping at his mug.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">Chowder leaned forward, in a failed attempt to whisper at Nursey, “Dude, you’re going for Holster? Hell yeah!” Nursey laughed softly, and said “nah, it’s just flirting, Chowder,” clearly aware that the entire room could hear them.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">On his corner of the couch, Dex had gotten very good at remembering the basic mechanics of eating. He’s focusing on them so intensely that he can almost tune out of the conversation- just lift, chew, swallow, repeat. He absently wondered if the red he’s been seeing behind his eyes is flushing up in his ears, if the tightness in his chest is showing in his shoulders.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">When he eventually tunes back in, they’re talking about something else, and Dex allows himself to slip to the kitchen under the pretense of making another cup of coffee. He expects a moment of peace, to breathe. Instead, he finds himself startling at a warm hand on his shoulder. The smell of cardamom cologne has appeared alongside Nursey, who’s still got sleep-bags under his eyes.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“Morning, Dexy,” he says with a smile. He’s carried his coffee in, and takes another sip, leaning his weight against the counter. Dex answered with a clink of his mug, which he’d just filled, then took a drink.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“Thanks for the air mattress man,” Nursey says after a beat. Dex smiles a little, but says,</p><p class="p1">“Self-preservation. If I had to haul your ass all the way back to your dorm, both of us would have fallen over like every twenty feet.” Nursey smiled at that, and rubbed one of his eyes.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“So, gym today?” He offered. Dex groaned aloud.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“You’re the hungover one, how are you possibly wanting to work out?” Dex protested.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“Maybe I’m just dying to see you covered in sweat,” Nursey said with a smirk, and Dex’s heart beat a little slower for a second.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">Nursey cringed inwardly. He was always doing this, falling for straight guys, saying things that other straight guys could say to one another, but bringing too much subtext alongside his sexuality. And, maybe, Nursey wasn’t thinking entirely straight about the whole Dex situation. Maybe it wasn’t a harmless chirp to a teammate. But he couldn’t ignore that if Chowder had said that to Dex, Dex’s face wouldn’t have changed the way it did. He swallowed, getting ready to make a different joke, change the subject, but was surprised to hear Dex say,</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“How does 6 tonight work?” Nursey nodded as Dex headed back into the living room, an unwelcomely happy bubble forming in his chest.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">They work out together, travel together, and sleep in the same room on away games. Most bus rides up, Nursey shoves an headphone in Dex’s ear and, after a few requisite protests, Dex lets him DJ. On the rides down, Dex usually sleeps, but sometimes he and Nursey play road trip games. They’re, in a weird way, very close friends, for two people who don’t have a lot of other, casual interactions. They’ll hang out, sure, when Chowder’s around, and the three of them have a group chat. But outside of hockey, they’re not independently tight<em>. </em>So walking back from the campus recreation center, dripping from showers, it’s weird when Dex asks,</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“Did you know that Walden pond is like, 20 minutes from here?” Nursey studied him for a second, but his features were hard to make out by the weak campus streetlights.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“Shit, no, I didn’t,” Nursey says. There’s an implicit question in his voice, maybe several. Why is Dex bringing this up? Why does Dex even know this? Has Dex actually heard of Thoreau?</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“I’m thinking of going next Saturday. I know you like all that hippie-dippy Thoreau shit, so you can hitch a ride if you want.” Dex says, with constructed nonchalance. Nursey bit back a grin.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">“It’s a date, my dude,” he responds. Fuck. He really needs to stop flirting with, like, everyone.</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">They’d reached Nursey’s dorm, so Dex clapped a hand on Nursey’s shoulder and walked off, with a “see you at practice.” High on post-workout endorphins and the prospect of Walden Pond with Dex, Nursey was a cocktail of euphoria and confusion which only compounded when he glanced down at his phone to see a new text:</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p1">
  <b>
    <em>Holster: </em>
  </b>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>you up?</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. just guys bein' dudes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <b> <em>Holster: </em> </b>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>you up?</em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <b> <em>Me:</em> </b>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>damn</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <b>Me:</b> </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>frat bro hook up stereotypes really are accurate aren’t they?</em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <b> <em>Holster:</em> </b>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>dont flatter yourself i need help with something</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <b>Holster:</b> </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>on second thought, do flatter yourself, i need help with something</em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <b>Holster:</b> </em>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>come over?</em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <b> <em>Me:</em> </b>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>omw</em>
</p><p class="p1">Nursey doesn’t spend much time in the attic. It’s not an overly-welcoming space- think, typical frat boy bedroom - on top of which, neither Holster nor Ransom do much laundry. There’s a pervasive sweat always present regardless of how many air fresheners Bitty has invested in. It doesn’t bother Nursey too much - he is an NCAA athlete, after all- but sitting on the thin mattress of Holster’s bunk, he’s uncomfortable.</p><p class="p1">Holster’s grabbed his laptop and tossed it into Nursey’s lap. A Microsoft word document filled with cramped typing sat open on the screen and he blinked at Nursey expectantly. </p><p class="p1">“What do we have here?” Nursey finally asked, and Holster settled down next to him. Maybe it can be blamed on the twin bed frame, but Holster sits close enough that their knees knock together a little.</p><p class="p1">“Econ paper. It’s supposed to be ten pages, I’ve got like six. I need your wizardry.” Nursey nodded knowingly. Years as an English major had taught him all sorts of #life-hacks to stretch thin content beyond the cutoff point, and SMH members were all frequent beneficiaries of this skill set. So It wasn’t weird that Holster had asked for help, but it was weird for Holster to summon him all the way across campus to do it, when Nursey could have just downloaded the doc, made the changes, and sent the file back in a few minutes.</p><p class="p1">“Well I’ll do what I can can, man, but four pages is a tall order,” Nursey said. Holster shrugged in response, standing up.</p><p class="p1">“Want a beer?” He offered. Nursey blinked.</p><p class="p1">“Sure,” he said, after a beat, and Holster disappeared downstairs to grab one from the kitchen. He finished as Holster was walking back, and traded in the laptop for a bottle.</p><p class="p1">“Stretched it to 8 and a half,” Nursey said.</p><p class="p1">“I’ll take it. Cheers, my dude,” Holster replied, clinking their bottles together. Nursey drank to that as Holster settled back onto the bed.</p><p class="p1">“So, where’s your better half?” Nursey asked, throwing a head nod towards the empty bunk above them. It's an innocent enough question, he thinks, especially with his lightly even tone. What he's really trying to ask is why Holster had invited Nursey over, especially when Ransom wasn't around. </p><p class="p1">“Probably March’s.” Holster answered, a little shorter than usual. His whole demeanor had been off tonight, actually, his shoulders a little hunched, his face drawn.</p><p class="p1">“Crazy that he and March hooked up with April, huh?” Nursey tried with a bit of a laugh. Holster shrugged, taking a long swig from his bottle.</p><p class="p1">“Everything okay?” Nursey asked after a second. Holster looked up at him, considering.</p><p class="p1">“I thought they were going to break up,” he said, finally. Nursey filled in the gaps.</p><p class="p1">“Rans and March?” Nursey asked, in a quiet tone. He thought he knew where this was going, but he didn’t want to push.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah. They were- having some sort of serious talk, outside the Haus at the party. And Justin had been weird about them for a while so I thought they were breaking up.” He let out a humorless laugh. “I guess they were just planning to have a fucking threesome.”</p><p class="p1">The implication of Holster’s mood shift hung heavy in the air. If he’d had Chowder’s naïveté or Dex’s tactlessness, maybe Nursey would have just asked. Maybe he would have put into words this unspoken dance Ransom and Holster did, that the entire Haus watched in the periphery of their vision. But there was a reason Holster had come to him, some bond they’d come to understand over the past few days and if people wanted one thing from Nursey, it was <em>chill. </em></p><p class="p1">So he didn’t say anything in response, just slung a consoling arm around Holster’s shoulder, and pulled him against his side for a bit of a hug. They sat like that for a moment.Despite the general musk of the room, Holster actually smelled nice. Nursey had seen a bottle of lilac shampoo in the shower that must be his. The shirt Holster was wearing was soft underneath Nursey’s arm and Nursey let himself enjoy the simple pleasure of physical touch.</p><p class="p1">It wasn’t exactly surprising when Holster’s hand shifted from his own leg to rest on top of Nursey’s, but Nursey felt his breath quicken anyways. A second later, Holster turned to make eye contact. Their heads were so close together already that the move was somehow inherently intimate. Nursey couldn’t stop his gaze from glancing down to Holster’s lips, which had parted softly. Light from the attic window had streaked through the shutters across Holster’s cheeks, and Nursey regarded him like an artist might for a second, considered how he might fold these features into a few printed lines.</p><p class="p1">A tension hung in the room, accentuated by the dramatic stage of silence and steady, shallow breaths.</p><p class="p1">“You know,” Nursey finally heard himself murmur, “some might say fucking your teammate to get over your other teammate is self-destructive.”</p><p class="p1">He didn’t pull away.</p><p class="p1">"If ‘some’ are you, I’d say takes one to know one,” Holster countered. Nursey acquiesced to that with a challenging eyebrow, and didn’t break Holster’s gaze.</p><p class="p1">Holster moved a hand to rest against Nursey’s jaw, no force in the touch.</p><p class="p1">“Is this okay?” Holster asked in a low voice. Nursey gave himself a second to settle, checked in with his nerves.</p><p class="p1">“Yeah,” he found himself answering, and met Holster across the distance between the two of them.</p><p class="p1">The kiss was good. Hesitantly experimental, but bright, hungry, and <em>good</em>. They broke apart for a second, and Nursey felt briefly smug looking back into Holster’s dilated pupils. He didn’t think about the tight denim he had changed into after his workout, and which areas were getting still tighter.</p><p class="p1">Nursey leaned forward this time, a wordless invitation, and Holster started to reciprocate when Ransom’s voice cut sharply through the moment,</p><p class="p1">“Holtzy! New director’s notes on Game of Thrones!” He called, his footsteps heavy on the stairs. Unspokenly, Nursey and Holster rearranged themselves back into a tableau bent over Holster’s computer.</p><p class="p1">“Oh- hey Nurse,” Ransom said, with a knowing grin. Nursey offered him a fist bump as greetings, which he accepted, flopping his backpack onto his desk.</p><p class="p1">“March cancel again?” Holster asked at Ransom, who said</p><p class="p1">“Yeah, like the third time this week. Dating a student athlete sucks, man.”</p><p class="p1">“Rans, you’re aware that you’re a student athlete, right?” Nursey asked.</p><p class="p1">“Don’t I know it,” Ransom said with a sigh, settling into his desk chair.</p><p class="p1">“So,” he started, changing the subject, “sorry to bother you guys, I didn’t realize you’d be over, Nurse,” His grin was back, enjoying the moment far too much.</p><p class="p1">“Emergency essay-editing session. It’s all anyone wants me for these days,” Nursey responded with exaggerated melancholy, which Ransom chuckled at.</p><p class="p1">“So? Either of you fellas interested in the new director’s notes?” Ransom offered. Holster hesitated, but when Nursey said,</p><p class="p1">“Nah, I’m gonna head home and crash,” Holster nodded in affirmation towards Ransom, who joined him on the bed.</p><p class="p1">“Really? Essay-editing? Weak moves, bro,” Ransom said as soon as Nursey had left. There’s a deeply unimpressed tone to Ransom’s voice. Holster doesn’t take the bait.</p><p class="p1">“Just guys bein’ dudes,” Holster quoted flippantly. He’s not sure why he doesn’t loop Ransom in on whatever is-or-isn’t happening with Nursey, but he keeps it at that.</p><p class="p1">“Just dudes bein’ gay,” Ransom shot after him accusatorially.Holster scoffed at that and cleared his throat.</p><p class="p1">“For real dude. March’s been cancelling on you, like a lot. Everything okay?” Holster ventured. There’s an honesty in Ransom’s eye that hadn’t been there when Nursey was present, an exhausted slump that crumples his frame a bit.</p><p class="p1">“I don’t know, man. It’s like. Ever since what happened with April, she’s been off,” his thumbnail tugged absently on the stray cord of Holster’s duvet that’s functioned as his worry stone for years.</p><p class="p1">“Did she maybe not want to do the threesome?” Holster asked cautiously.</p><p class="p1">“It was her idea, dude! <em>She</em> talked me into it.” He paused, then added,“I guess April was already down for it when she asked me.” And there’s another truth there, another insecurity that Holster sees surfacing. Lingering questions about why March had wanted this, and why Ransom had been the last to ask.</p><p class="p1">He held Ransom’s gaze for a second. It was tempting to push Ransom in the direction Holster wanted, but at the end of the day, you couldn’t mess with the coral reef. What Ransom needed, above all else right now, was Game of Thrones.</p><p class="p1">“Director’s notes?” He asked, eyes glancing towards the laptop. The tension in Ransom broke a little bit, and he grinned.</p><p class="p1">“I’m going to grab a beer first. You want another?” Holster nodded after him, left alone on the bed for a second. All too easily, the possibility of Derek Nurse and what might have happened if March had followed through on her plans was forgotten. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>find me on tumblr! @dereknursy.tumblr.com</p><p>Also if you have any thoughts / feedback I'd love to hear!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. i want us to be cupids</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">Chowder had <em>no</em> chill. Which is one of the reasons why Nursey loved him, but also made almost-hookups with your hockey captain hard to keep quiet. He hadn’t really meant to tell Chowder whatever he and Holster had almost done, but the kid was nothing if not curious. He’d ambushed Nursey in the dining hall after class, still full of questions from the post-kegster brunch.</p><p class="p3">“Why didn’t you tell me you were flirting with Holster?” He chattered over the stack of frozen-then-reheated waffles weighing down his plate.</p><p class="p3">“It was literally, completely, not a serious thing man. Besides, you would have seen it for yourself if you weren’t so busy mooning over Farmer all the time,” Nursey finished with a wink. Chowder’s cheeks flooded pink, but he neglected to comment.</p><p class="p3">“Well I saw it but I didn’t realize it was flirting-flirting! You flirt less with Holster than you do with, like, Dex.” Chowder finished, cutting a bite and looking back up at Nursey. Nursey took a sip of his Earl Grey to give himself a second to recover.</p><p class="p3">“Okay, one, I flirt with everyone,” Nursey countered, gesturing pointedly with his apple core. “Two, you call chirping ‘flirting,’ I call it putting Poindexter in his place. Three, it’s different with Holster, there’s-“ he cut off for a second, summoning words. “There’s a possibility with him, ya know?”</p><p class="p3">Chowder blinked back at Nursey.</p><p class="p3">“Like. I could call you sexy and gorgeous and compliment your hair, but it’s not really serious flirting because there’s no possibility you’d ever be interested in me.” Chowder cocked his head, but didn’t comment.</p><p class="p3">“And like. Holster <em>is</em> into guys, and so when I flirt with him, there’s a real possibility behind that. So it’s different.” He finished, satisfied with himself.</p><p class="p3">“So you think you’re not flirting with Dex…because you think Dex isn’t into guys?” Chowder asked. He looked impossibly confused.</p><p class="p3">“This isn’t about about Dex, bro,” Nursey deflected, “it’s about Holster and whether or not we’re hooking up.” Chowder looked like he had been about to respond to the Dex comment, but perked up at this last bit.</p><p class="p3">“So there is something going on!” He exclaimed. Nursey laughed a little.</p><p class="p3">“I don’t know,” he admitted.“He like booty called me last night and then something almost happened but Ransom totally cock-blocked us.” Chowder nodded sagely.</p><p class="p3">“You gotta like, keep that on the down-low, though, man.” Nursey raised a warning eyebrow and Chowder agreed vigorously, working through a third waffle.</p><p class="p3">Naturally, Chowder only made it like 8 hours without spilling the beans. Every other Monday was frog movie night, so Dex and Nursey were crowded on either side of Chowder. They had watched <em>It Follows </em>earlier<em>,</em> but had switched onto a chain of Buzzfeed Unsolved episodes.</p><p class="p3">Chowder had just gotten up to make some more popcorn when Holster’s head popped through the door with a light knock.</p><p class="p3">“My favorite frogs!” He said with a wide grin.</p><p class="p3">“Hey, Holster!” Chowder smiled back.</p><p class="p3">“Listen Chow, can Rans and I talk to you for a sec? We’re trying to work out a new strategy for the Brown game.”</p><p class="p3">“Ooh! Sure.” Chowder followed him out of the room. A comfortable silence settled between Dex and Nursey for a bit.</p><p class="p3">“How did your bash-ing go?” Nursey asked, entirely too proud of his comp sci pun. Dex smiled despite himself.</p><p class="p3">“It runs,” he said with a shrug. “So cheers to that.” Nursey clinked his beer bottle in return. The gap that Chowder had left in between them had closed a little and Nursey took the chance to swing an arm around Dex’s neck.</p><p class="p3">Dex always tensed a little under Nursey’s touch, but he’d started relaxing quicker and quicker.</p><p class="p3">“So,” Nursey offered, “Chowder and Farmer.” Dex groaned.</p><p class="p3">“Dude, I <em>know, </em>is he ever going to ask her out?”</p><p class="p3">“We should do something. Help them.” Nursey said, turning his gaze on to Dex. Dex found himself here often, caught inescapably by the green that greeted him now. It always reminded him of mint lemonade, of olive trees, of the warm laugh Nursey sometimes let out when he was tired. But then the look took on a questioning edge when Dex didn’t respond, and Dex broke eye contact.</p><p class="p3">“You want us to be wingmen?” Dex asked, mostly just to say something.</p><p class="p3">“Oh, no. Not wingmen, my good sir.” Nursey paused for suspense. Dex waited. “I want us to be cupids.” Dex rolled his eyes.</p><p class="p3">“Listen. I was born on February fourteenth. You can’t ask me to ignore my calling,” Nursey argued. Dex shook his head but a small smile had escaped onto his face.</p><p class="p3">“Nurse, dude, do whatever you want, work your love magic. I don’t see why you need me though.” Dex rebutted. Nursey considered that.</p><p class="p3">“Poindexter. You know we always play best when we’re together. I need my partner out here too.” And maybe Nursey shouldn’t have used the term 'partner.' Maybe he should have kept his tone lighter, laughed a little bit more. But he hadn’t done any of those things and the sentence came out a little too slow and serious to brush off. </p><p class="p3">Dex’s face heated up with a trademark Irish flush, but to Nursey’s relief, he just dropped his shoulders in a little “fair enough” motion.</p><p class="p3">“Alright. I'm sold.” If possible, Dex blushed harder at Nursey’s returning grin. Chowder moved back into the room, calling something over his shoulder to an unidentified voice.</p><p class="p3">“I made some more popcorn,” Chowder offered, walking back over to the bed. Nursey had shifted back over to allow Chowder room to sit, and Dex tried to ignore his disappointment at Nursey’s retreating arm.</p><p class="p3">“So how did the big talk with the captains go?” Nursey asked Chowder, reaching for a handful.</p><p class="p3">“It was good! Some interesting plays. Did you know that Brown is an away game?” Dex raised a quizzical eyebrow.</p><p class="p3">“Uh. Yeah dude. It’s been scheduled for like months.”</p><p class="p3">“So Nursey, I was thinking, you and Dex should fight a bunch the day before.” Nursey made eye contact with Dex over Chowder’s head, a silent “<em>do you know what he’s talking about?” </em>Dex shrugged back incredulously.</p><p class="p3">“And why should we do that?” Nursey bit.</p><p class="p3">“So Hall and Murray will have to separate you for room assignments.” Chowder explained, but his voice had taken on a slow impatience.</p><p class="p3">“Still not following you, Chow,” Nursey said.</p><p class="p3">“So then you can bunk with Holster and hook up with him again,” Chowder said, like this was obvious. No one said anything for a second.</p><p class="p3">“Dude. Really, man?” Nursey checked his phone. “Like, eight fucking hours.” Chowder flushed, suddenly aware of what he had said.</p><p class="p3">“Shit. Sorry.” Was the only thing Chowder managed.</p><p class="p3">The easy warmth that had settled in Dex’s chest had been sharply replaced with cold dread. He really wasn't surprised at all, but his stupid, hopeful brain had begun to consider the possibility that maybe Nursey was flirting with Dex intentionally. Maybe this <em>thing</em> that Dex felt between them wasn't one-sided. But it was easy to find meaning where he wanted to see it. He cursed his confirmation bias and familiar anger began sprouting internally in what he dimly recognized as a defense mechanism. Dex had a temper, but he knew this was the exact wrong moment to act on it, so he summoned all his will into a constructedly unconcerned expression. The other two had turned to him, waiting for him to say something.</p><p class="p3">“So you and Holster hooked up?” Dex asked, to fill the space. </p><p class="p3">“We actually didn’t, but he was making moves to…” Nursey trailed off. Nursey’s relaxed position hadn’t changed but there was a tint of something off-calm in his eye that Dex nearly missed in his bid to avoid eye contact. Dex nodded. Not really knowing what else to do, he pressed the space bar on the laptop in front of them and the episode resumed playing.</p><p class="p3">The night was- fine. <em>It was fine</em>, Dex kept telling himself, his thumbnails worrying the paper label on the bottle he held. It was fine because it had to be. And, when he got back to his dorm room, if he cried for two hours like some lovesick teenager, that was fine- he was just overtired. And if he didn’t talk to Nursey for the rest of the week, that would be fine too. They didn’t have to be friends, anyways.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>bash is a scripting language for anyone confused about Nursey's comment :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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